How To Make Love?

So when you clicked on my opinion, and you saw that I planned to broach this particular subject, what was the motivator for you choosing this one?

• And before you read my opinion, in your own opinion, how do YOU make love?
• How is love made?
• Is it something that occurs in the dark?
• In the wee hours of the morn?
• Maybe in the crashing waves along the beach?
• Or maybe outside in the midst of a raging thunder storm, for all the heavens to see?

Of course there are some people, who excel at making love. They excel because they've had the best instructors. The best example. They saw making love in action, being played out for them everyday of their lives. So when it came to their turn to make love, they knew exactly what to do; it came to them naturally. For most others, however, that is not the case. Some of us have to be told after repeated failures of trying to make love, how it is to be performed. Some read books, from Romance novels to How to's. Others enlist Doctors for their certifiable, licensed, confidential advice. Let us not forget the vast collections of video tape! Every form, fashion and method on the face of the earth has been tried to execute and per-fect the art of making love. To add to them all, here I am, about to give my opinion on "How to Make Love" when I have truly yet to find in my life an instance where I have come to make love, and that love is being reciprocated to me.

If that is so, you're asking, who am I, therefore to state, how to make love. Well, I do have three children and a grandson, so I must know something about it, right? Somebody was making something. Yes, we were attempting to, but to the true sense of the word, the absolute intensity of it, many ingredients were missing - so while we tried, we failed.

What so many need to realize is this, it takes more than a man and woman to make love. Heterosexually speaking. It takes time; examples; complete knowledge of the act and love of one's self. A filling to the brim of ones own needs aside from another added human, should be established first. Starting with the balanced, healthy, whole love devoted to one, from parents. Father and Mother.

For the male; he absolutely needs to see his father making love to his mother. No, not in their private intimate time together making love, no - I mean the part that takes place before they become intimate in making love. I mean, he needs to see this in his father's voice when speaking to her. Whether in everyday communication; in discussion of household maintenance; in subtle hidden messages that only she knows the code to. He needs to see it in his eyes; in his touch; in his laughter. He needs to see it in his consoling her, when she is in times of stress, showing how the man is to be the rock, stablizing influence and solver of problems, all the while, consoling her, that he's there and everything is going to be all right, restoring a calm and peaceful order. The male, the son, needs to see his father sharing with her. He needs to see it in his every day determination despite the odds, to care for his family through hard work and planning. He needs to see, despite his father's exhaustion, the love that makes him greet his wife in gladness. Enquire of his children and their needs. Whether a talk before dinner, help with the home work, or a game after dinner. The watching of a movie, he's not interested in, but does so anyway because his family is interested. He needs to learn to endure love, to stick it out no matter what the struggle. He must see his father do this, set the example, day in and day out of his developing life. This young man, by his father's example is learning how to make love.

What of a young woman? What in her world teaches her to make love? The example. Viewing it. Living it. Experiencing it. Receiving it. The gentle touch of her mother's smile. Exhibiting peace and tranquility. The joy in her voice. To hear her singing. To watch her plan, organize, arrange and prepare her home for a family she loves. To see her set goals of accomplishment, whether the goals are personal or for strengthening the structure of her family ties. Viewing the care she gives herself, never for a moment neglecting the idea that she represents her husband, a compliment to him. To her family. Whether that care be to her outer appearence, or to the person she is within. Thirsting always for knowledge, wisdom and guidance. Humbly accepting and administering to the spiritual needs of her family. Concerned that they be well rounded and balanced. Injecting morals, conscious and discipline. Displaying for her daughter the etiquette acceptable in the social world her life will take her to. Never for once sacrificing the needed hug, squeeze, kiss, consoling caress and sense of humor or laughter. Never neglecting her families environment seeing to it that it is always a clean and healthy sanctuary for all. Setting this in the minds of her daughters. Along with instructions on the care for themselves. The example, the example, the example. I repeat it for emphasis because it is not what we humans hear that teaches us, but what we see. What the eyes behold, and draw into the brain, to set and harden, store in the neuron center to be replayed at ease later, when it is time for this one to make love. This one, who will watch her father with his wife, and smile. Who not only longs for his attention and love, but gets it tenfold. Building within her a strong character of confidence and assurance. Self-esteem that will later make her refuse to settle for less than her eyes, her life, her experience in love has shown her. As her mother showed; she will fill her mind with all the wonders and beauties of this world. She will learn and discern the dangers, remembering the guidlines, limits and structures. She'll begin to understand the discipline, and know that it was love.

I know what you're thinking, the above is nothing more than a fairytale, a whimsical dream of conditions no longer existing, right? Well, yes, sadly the above methods of making love have been replaced with instant, quick, shallow, short lived attempts at making love where most end in divorce - simply because more and more of us as time goes by, haven't a clue of what making love is - we've never seen it, so can't possible manifest it in our lives. It's sad, that there are thousands of young girls in the world, with absolutely no idea as to what love is, or how to make it. Primarily, because the examples they have been exposed to were themselves distorted. So now, what they know of it will be passed on to each ones daughter to also be mistaken for the real thing.

The Real thing, something everyone has heard of, like UFO's - but the majority don't believe exists.

I remember a show that Oprah Winfrey once had on this particular topic, and a very important point was brought out about love ...that point was, that love is not a feeling - but an action. A demonstration. Real love is the motivation for only positive, upbuilding and unselfish acts. At the same time, it is not anxious or insecure; desperate to be proven by sacrificing ones own dignity or self-respect. In other words, have real love for yourself first, respect yourself first, expect and demand respect from others or the prespective selection, then conduct yourself in a manner that is deserving of the respect. Yes, it's true, I am aiming at the feminine gender, because I believe we are in the greater struggle when it comes to stumbling in the dark for love. This is not to say, that there aren't men out there who have the tendency to also fall in love based upon sight, instead of knowledge. But it is strongly my opinion that you cannot possibly love someone you don't know. Compatibility, compassion, temperment, ambition, humor, endurance, sacrifice and compromise. So many other ingredients as well as the above mentioned are vital to making real love.

Most women, will select a man that closely emulates their father. Sad to say again, that maynot be good depending upon the father the woman had. Therefore, once again, it goes back to the man. What example are you setting for your daughters as to the type of man you want them to end up with. Six out of ten women will marry a man just like their father. Forgive me for repeating it, but father's look at yourself. Really look. Do you want your daughter with someone like you? That is if you are honest enough with yourself as to whether or not, you are loving or abusive. Which of the following are you?

• Compassionate, or controlling?
• Encouraging, or obsessive?
• Giving, or demanding?
• Respected, or feared?
• Selfless, or selfish?
• Ambitious, or lazy?
• Reasonable, or quick tempered?
• Just, or a tyrant?

The type of man before a daughter, is the type of men that will be chosen to procreate. In other words, there's alot of, (excuse the expression), assholes and jerks fathering children out there; patterns are being set. Wrong examples are being followed. The world is filled to the brim with people who have no idea how to make love. So, now, when the time comes, and you think you are ready to make love. First make a list. Then check to see if these items are on it.

If you're a man.

• * A role model which must consist of one or more or all of these factors.
• a.) A present balanced father. Whom you consider your best friend. Him being your best friend is a good indication of the type of father he was to you.
• b.) A stepfather, of the same above criteria.
• c.) Accurate knowledge and a strong belief in the Bible, with a willingness to follow and apply.

• *A good education. Which must consist of one or more or all of these important factors.
• a.) High School diploma
• b.) A trade that makes you feel good about what you're doing, and makes you feel good about yourself.
• c.) Accurate Knowledge of the bible, and a strong belief with a willingness to follow and apply.

• *Time to develope yourself. Which must consist of one or more or all of these important factors.
• a.) Travel / exploratory time.
• b.) Career establishing time.
• c.) Time to know yourself, your needs.
• d.) Time to gather accurate knowlege of the bible and the GOD that made you.
• e.) And the time, when you'll know...it's time to share.

If you're a woman.

• * A role model. Consisting of all the above with the man. You just need a proper female role model.
• *A good education. Consisting of all the above. Whether your choice is to be a housewife right away or not. However let me say this with as much strong insistance as I can...nothing, and I do believe with all of my heart; nothing, is more important for a woman, than to be a strong and present, full time housewife and mother! THAT'S MY OPINION!!!
• *Time to develope yourself. Consisting of all the above. Take the time you need to develope who and what you are to you. Your family. Your friends. Your Creator. Because you will need them all. Especially if you choose the most important and challenging career of them all; raising a happy, healthy, strong, binding family.

In conclusion. Despite what so many thought this particular piece entailed, it's all about more than many ever bargained for. Few have been so fortunate up to this day and age, to really have experienced the actual priviledge of making love. The real thing, is what I'm speaking of. And because so many of us are off track, fewer and fewer are experiencing it. We, the human race, have fallen far from the expectancy of our Creator when it comes to making love. So many mistaking the term for having intercourse. True enough, even sexual intercourse has a place when it comes to making love - however, the real thing, begins long before that act is ever initiated.

Believe me when I say, if you have the priviledge of being raised in a home, where the father and the mother set the example and worked hard at making love for themselves within their home and for their children, (best done with the assistance of the CREATOR). Then have also seen to it, that within yourself, you have set the goal of making love within you. By the time, you find the right person to share this with, making love that is, oh how much more it will truly mean, when you finally add, that soul shaking, gratifying, gift from GOD to all (Married persons)... the intimate sealing act of intercourse. That, I think, should be the last to be added.

That's it, my opinion on making love, you can think on the topic seriously considering it for the bettering or adjusting of your present life, or for the young ones who need to know. Or, you can just dismiss it; after all, this is just my webpage, and this was once again, just ................ my opinion.